Monday, February 13, 2012

Momma Needs to Chill Out!

Oh my goodness. Monday was crazy. Monday was probably the hardest day I have had, in a long while.

So, Sunday was really crazy and I was exhausted. So, I went to relax and fall asleep but I decided to give myself a facial because we had family portraits coming up this week and I wanted my face to look fantastic! I washed, exfoliated, buffed and was about to put on my sulphur mask and wait for 10 minutes. OK, I am just watching TV, waiting and......I hear the baby cry. It's late, my husband is still sleeping his oncoming sickness off, so I know it is me that needs to get my girl. I get up and go to her and I go to her room and I am really surprised that she has pooped on her bedding and clothes because she has not had a major poop blowout since before my awesomely fun dinner party the evening before. I mean, over 12 hours has past. Aren't we done with this?! So I get her changed and try to do more than I can at once and I end up accidentally waking up my husband without meaning to. Oh well, it made my life easier and he was so cute with our girl, comforting her and attending to her while I got the clothes and changed the bedding and everything else you can think of. I know she loved it, she is a daddy's girl after all.

So by the time she was back in bed, and my face mask (it is still on throughout this whole ordeal) is washed off, it was late. So I sleep. But I knew it was gonna be a rough day on Monday because a lack of sleep is hard for me to get through everything. So, I wake up. I'm tired. I'm still not feeling 100% and I am trying to get going. My son has his school Valentine's party today and I need to get his Valentine's organized and labeled. I want him to help me because they are his Valentine's and he has been so excited about them. So I call him to me and he can't stop jumping/running around and wanting to do anything else. I finally get his attention and he starts telling me the name of those in his class. (We don't have a class list--I just know there are 12 kids in his class, including his self) He wants to write his own name, and I think, "why not?" He has been working so hard to write his name and he wants to do it! So, I would write his classmates names and he signs his own. By the way, he chose his Valentine's this year and I really thought they were cool! Target had this cool ones where you can make them into paper airplanes. This is really appealing to me because I have never been able to construct decent airplanes that actually fly. However, somewhere in there, he wants to write his friends' names on the Valentines and he wants me to sign Sam! Meanwhile, the clock is ticking and I should be getting him ready for school because we are only so many minutes away from school starting. I am getting a little frazzled, but somehow, we made. He also wanted to give bouncy balls as his treat, not candy. We offered to buy candy and he was adamant about giving his friends bouncy balls. Less sugar--I can deal with that and I am sure all the other parents can as well. Cool! I put them in the bag and get him off to school.

My daughter is still struggling today and she is sleeping by now! Whew! So I get ready and prep everything--after I pick Sam up from school, my day is going to get extremely hairy, it is just one thing after another up until 6pm. I am noticing by now that I am having a slight problem. I don't know why, but I am just feeling a little angry. I am not an angry person, at least I don't think so. But, I can't shake the feeling that I am ready to pounce on something, anything, and I have angry feelings just floating around in my body for no reason at all. I tell my husband about it during his lunch break and we both agree that it is weird. And I resolve to myself that I am going to do everything possible to make sure I don't let it effect me or those around me.

So, I wake my daughter up and we get Sammy and head to our first engagement: accompanying practice for my high school friend. We go to his house because his piano is tuned and we were having some tuning issues at my own. I hate accompanying or teaching at other houses and bringing my kids because I can't always focus on my kids and keep them out of trouble in those situations and it is hard for me to focus on my playing which makes me play worse than normal. Both situations also stress me out. My kids are troopers and I figure they can handle it. My son is usually a good-natured, pretty good listener but today was a challenge for him. We have been prepping him for our family portraits by promising a trip to Chuck E Cheese's if he does the portraits and everything in between with a good attitude and an obedient spirit.

Let's just cut to the chase and say that he does not listen to me on a number of things at this house that is not our own. And we are there for an hour. He wouldn't listen to me, or the kid I am accompanying for, or his mother. It stresses me out and makes me embarrassed, which as any mother knows are not a good combination. The temperature is rising.

We quickly go to my house where we get there just in time for my student to come over. I try to get my kids settled and start as quickly as possible. The lesson went well, but it always tricky to get everything done that needs to get done and end on time. I get everyone ready to leave because my next lesson is at my student's house because they are my friends and the parents are at work and it is easier to teach at this time for them and myself. And my kids get to play with other kids. But packing the kids up and getting there on time is always a new experience every week. Not too many crazy things have happened, but my son isn't cooperating as well as I would like, but he is improving. But I am still stressing, so that temperature is still going up.

My student is a new student, which means he is not used to sitting through lessons yet, so I am not only having to teach him, but I need to entertain him and keep his attention, constantly. It was a hard lesson. We end a little later because we got there a little late. This means that I am late picking up my husband up from work. So we rush to get him and he has already walked home a good distance. We get him in the car and go home. I have one more lesson left and miraculously, I have 5 minutes to rest (ha, right!) and prepare. As we are walking in the house, I grab my son's preschool bag and check through it to see his Valentines from his friends. I see this big bag of Valentines from his classmates, next to his Valentines that we worked on so hard before school! WHAT?! I ask him, "Sam, why are your valentines still in your bag? Why didn't you give them away?" And he calmly, and matter of factly answers, "Mom, my teacher asks, 'Did you bring treats?' and I say, 'No!'" He zeroed in on the word "treats" and felt that since he didn't have a candy treat to give that he didn't have anything to give!!!! The knowledge that during this crazy day, this thing that took so much time and patience and effort didn't happen because my son felt he didn't have a candy to give sends me over the edge and I can't help moaning and raising my voice, "This is the worst day ever!!!" I felt defeated. I felt as though I was trying to be Super Mom and I failed. My kid was that kid that didn't bring treats and yet everyone else gave him treats. And as I am trying to "help" my son feel what I am feeling (he didn't get it, he thought it was funny) the doorbell rings and I have to put my feelings aside and teach my last lesson of the day.

I am a very lucky girl. This lesson is supposed to be first, but today it has to be last. I love this student and it is a joy to teach her, so I actually find a lot of healing in this lesson because it is enjoyable and we have breakthroughs and it was nice. I am thankful that this helped put me back in a somewhat better mood so I can cope with the rest of my day.

Let's just say, I am grateful for leftovers and I am looking forward to Valentine's day because my husband has the next two days off.

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